Queen of the Jungle

I did 42k (aka full marathon), and it was the most treacherous day yet! I began my descent early in the rain and fog, and it was so dark I had to use a flashlight. When I stopped for coffee (which was really just for survival) my hands were so frozen the man had to help get my money out. I had icicles forming on my pants.

Next, my boot got stuck in quicksand mud, and I had to grab onto a nearby branch to free myself. I said aloud, 'Queen of the Jungle!' Later in the day, I saw what I thought was a pilgrim in the distance, but it was a bear/wolf/dog that I couldn't get around. I tried sneaking past him, but then his dog friend came out and snarled at me. I thought, 'I'm going to have to kill this motherfucker.' When I reached down for a rock, they both came towards me and began circling. They were more terrifying than the stray dogs in Bucharest. I fantasized about offering one my left arm and then punching the other one and then kicking the one that ate my arm. I didn't want to run because I thought they would chase me. The old Spanish guy I began with in the morning couldn't be more than fifteen minutes behind me. Would I bleed out before then? Literally all of these thoughts went through my head. Finally, I slyly escaped and as soon as I was far enough away I said, 'Queen of the Jungle!' I also slipped on horse poop on some cobble stone and almost fell in a river, but I didn't say 'Queen of the Jungle' then because in that moment I was more clumsy than a conqueror.

I took a gamble and bought a Chips Ahoy Milka. It was a mistake. I also bought a knife for cutting bread and tomatoes and also in case I encounter other Spanish family pets I need to murder.